blogs about nothing ..: January 2016

Jenny

10:44 PM

But I found the words I never told you.

And with every letter, I painted a picture for you

Painted you so innocent, in a way that you would only be mine

With every stroke of the brush I felt your touches

Through every tear shed, I see each of our memories

In every intangible cry, I implore every kiss

I wanted no one to understand your beauty but me

So say you will stay forever

You helped me understand the science of love

Love won’t get you back, it will only bring you back

To where I am right now

In relationships we paint these pictures, abstract but representative of us

The mural I've constructed from these heartaches and heart breaks further the infatuation of the person i thought you should be

Every tear I never showed you, every letter ever burned, every word I never said

I’m giving you now

Layered in these portraits is all that you have ever asked for

You are my blunt, weed, cigarillo and euphoric high

My love is layered like the grand canyon so evident in my writings for you

Jenny

I know what love means now. You showed me that. The nights get longer when I'm not around you. I'm so grateful for all of your lessons, all the bravery that you've given me. You shaped me, you helped make into the person that I am today.

I know what love is now. Love is platonic. Love is the number of days counted apart and not together. Love is cheesy smiles across the science class room. Love is secrets shared.

You've taught me so much in so little time. I am forever blessed to have been in your life. I adore you. All the memories we've created. And for all the nights I've kept you on your toes wondering my feelings. Here's my ode to you. My devotion to you. There will never be another. You're my danger, sin, poetry and excitement. My diary. My youth.

So here's to the stolen kisses in the hallways. The secret getaways to the movies. The past hour Facebook messages. The words I never said. The trading of our favorite candies. Here's to high school. Here's to love.

HBD. 6:30pm.

Imagine That

12:59 PM

Don't waste all your imagination on one person because no matter the length of their smile. that person has bad days too. Its so hard to believe that when a person has made the decision to leave you in their past, that all of their days are good. But I promise you it isn't always like that. If it's real love, not even love, but acknowledgement at least about all the feelings involved, there will be bad days.

Don't waste your imagination on what it was and what there could possibly be. The best things in life will pass you by, in the midst of you holding yourself back. A person moving at a quick pace doesn't always have it put together. Sometimes it's 'the act'. The act is what gets a person by. They say cry as long as you need to, cry until it doesn't hurt anymore. Often we fill our lives with the things that don't even matter, in order to make ourselves believe we've moved on and that we've got it all put together. Maybe it's okay to cry just a little bit and it may hurt less. Maybe a few tear drops will bring for understanding. Maybe we can see better when we stop trying to escape time and let it do its work. Maybe if we didn't pretend, we could actually be. Maybe ..

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